Goodbye 2020

What a year.

First off - I don’t know how months went by without me updating the blog - I’ll get into that more in a minute - but will try to do so monthly in 2021, thanks for waiting on me.

2020 flew by, and also went SO SLOW all at the same time. Here’s a little recap of my 2020 😆

January - was 99% sure I had cancer again January 1, confirmed by end of January. DO YOUR SELF EXAMS - I KEEP SAVING MY OWN LIFE YALL.

February - so many tests, imaging, doctors appointments to figure out treatment plan. Ran my first half marathon with amazing friends Oh and the World starting shutting down just as I got back from Savannah for a family friends wedding for what we thought would be a few weeks!

March - surgery time yet again! Prayers were answered as again the cancer was found to be in just one area on my left breast, and I was able to keep my implants in! My surgery was the first day of not allowing more than one family member in the hospital, what a crazy crazy time! They cancelled NCAA baseball and I thought I was going to lose my mind.

April- I graduated with my MBA ☺️ and started chemotherapy! I tried hard to keep my hair with cold capping thanks to my aunt and uncle who graciously offered to pay for it all. It failed miserably and probably my favorite thing about this year was losing my hair. God has a sense of humor, I promise.

May - more chemo, more not leaving my house for 14 weeks except to go to the ER or walks, thankfully working from home for the hospital. Oh and about 15 hours a week of arguing with insurance and proton center about paying for radiation treatments.

June - More of the same + finishing chemo!!! CMAFEST has been a dream of mine forever and it was cancelled so tickets and dreams roll over with 2021.

July - Started 6.5 weeks of radiation everyday M-F! I worked full time left work in Gainesville and drove back and forth to Jacksonville 3-4 days a week. The other day I was so blessed to stay with my good friends Katie and Phil at their home ❤️

August - halfway through finished radiation! Now I was on a quest to make decisions about ongoing chronic treatments and once healed from burns get my range of motion back.

September - I turned 30! Justin and I decided I would move forward with Zometa infusions every 6 months for 3 years, Zoladex injections every 28 days, and exemastane pill daily for the next 5 years. Justin also graduated from Georgetown and I have never been more proud. I found out that I was really truly going to get to be aunt Sambo and started excitingly awaiting the arrival of Mandis baby.

October - I pushed to find out more about what the last year in menopause plus chemo had done to my chances of having a baby once cancer free for 2 years. We found out unfortunately that I am about as fertile as a 65 year old currently and while medicine is causing a tiny bit of that it doesn’t look like having my own baby at 35/36 after treatment is complete will be likely for Justin and I. We jumped into reading and learning about all the different ways you can adopt a child, something that has always been in my heart ❤️

November + December - I stood next to one of my best friends as she married her person ❤️ I deleted social media apps from my phone because I was spiraling out of control. I wasted way too much time scrolling through feeds of people I didn’t know in exchange for ignoring the loved ones next to me. I was exhausted from becoming the positive face of breast cancer over the last 2 years and felt my anxiety at an all time high. The deletion of the apps and drefocus of time praying, journaling with God, and studying the Bible brought me a peace I didn’t know could exist after the year that I had.

Long story short 2020 has been terrifying for all of us. To have death look a normal person in the face as a possibility upon contracting a virus is almost unimaginable. I have been told I had cancer twice, imagining what would happen to come to terms with that twice before 30. I have learned all too well what that weight and darkness can bring about.

I have also learned that God truly conquers all. I wake up happy, excited, thankful, grateful, and eager to begin each day. In the bad news or the amazing news throughout this year he whispered, “Child, I got you.” He does the same for you each and every day. Through the pain of regaining mobility of my left arm and side I have found immense joy in crossfit and Olympic style weightlifting once again. I started a virtual book club and have had. Over 20 different amazing women in my life log in at the end of the month to discuss a book, something I have always dreamed of doing. While I have missed live sports and concerts so much that it truly breaks my heart, I know that the wait will make the next one in attendance that much sweeter. My career as a pharmacist has taken off and become something that I could have only dreamed of a few years ago.

I was blessed to receive the first round of the COVID-19 vaccine a few days again, I believe there is an end to this in sight and urge you to consider getting the vaccination when available. How amazing is science that prior to the start of 2021 I was already able to get vaccinated?!

I know for certain one thing about 2021. I do know who holds control of it!

Until next time,

Sami